It is not like I am against birthdays or birthday parties I love them. It is just when this one birthday party takes a child to a whole new level of parenting I have to stop and think. Brandon had his 8th birthday on the 15th,. We have been through many struggles with Brandon and this year, for the first time, Brandon really understood what his birthday meant. This meant for him that he would have birthday presents and he even asked for a birthday party. What is so special about that? He never even knew when his birthday was before or what it really meant. He was excited for it and he started counting down for it.
Unfortunately he was so excited he couldn't take it. He couldn't sleep about three weeks before his birthday and then he was very upset when I couldn't schedule his bowling birthday party until the 22nd. "That is not my birthday date" but he slowly adapted. Although he couldn't sleep well and was very restless until the big day I have to say for his birthday party he was a great little host. He bowled and was not controlling, shared the lane with friends. He thanked everyone for his gifts as he open them ( a bit of coaching prior by mom) but he remembered and was very happy with all his gifts. He even was helpful in handing out the goody bags I had made up. At first, he wanted all the bags, he didn't quit get that he would get presents and they got the bag. But he did and he was an true 8 year old.
This is when you have to stop and think of progress. Josh understood his birthday at 4 and that family got him gifts and sang to him and that you need birthday candles... or as he used to call them "dunnies".. had a bit of a speech problem. But even with a speech problem he could communicate what he wanted. It was nice to see Brandon trying to communicate what he wanted. He got a bit upset at times because he could not put into words or thoughts of what he needed but he is learning. He was like a four year old at times this past month and yet he was an 8 year old.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
George George George
OK so our big cat George is technically an indoor cat. We got him from the Humane Society so they prefer to keep them indoors. However, when you live by fields and the other cat goes outside everyday, it is a losing battle. BUT this cat everytime he goes out, George ends up injuring himself. I don't like to let him go outside. As Spring has come I have been letting him out as I take the boys to the school bus and then bring him in when I return. It has been cold enough that he wants out for a bit. Well the other morning I let him out earlier in the dark because it was warm out and the other cat wanted out so bad so I sent both.
George did not come home.
I had to go to a seminar and I didn't want to miss it, and I called everywhere. Looked through the fields, I mean he had only been gone an hour how far can he go? Far away I guess, and I could not locate him. I was bumming and figure he would turn up while I was gone. No show. Then in the evening we looked and looked and looked. No George. I went to the neighbors and no has seen him. I went to the cranky neighbors (long story) You begin to wonder if someone has taken him in. He is very friendly. I even called the sanitary dept. to make sure they have not picked up white road kill.
Two nights in a row without the cat coming home. Two nights of staying up and checking every two or three hours to see if he is at the back door to come in.
Finally this morning, he came home. He was gone almost 48 hrs. And yes he wanted out again today and I am like "no way". I need sleep.
George did not come home.
I had to go to a seminar and I didn't want to miss it, and I called everywhere. Looked through the fields, I mean he had only been gone an hour how far can he go? Far away I guess, and I could not locate him. I was bumming and figure he would turn up while I was gone. No show. Then in the evening we looked and looked and looked. No George. I went to the neighbors and no has seen him. I went to the cranky neighbors (long story) You begin to wonder if someone has taken him in. He is very friendly. I even called the sanitary dept. to make sure they have not picked up white road kill.
Two nights in a row without the cat coming home. Two nights of staying up and checking every two or three hours to see if he is at the back door to come in.
Finally this morning, he came home. He was gone almost 48 hrs. And yes he wanted out again today and I am like "no way". I need sleep.
Monday, March 9, 2009
School Bus
So this morning Josh is being a real pill. He is having an attitude with me this morning. I know he is upset that he has to go to shool and his brother is staying home to go to the doctors. He is also a bit mad because I won't let him have hot lunch and I won't let him eat breakfast at school. I am sorry but I am not going to pay money so he can have a breakfast bar, I have them here.
After asking him twice if he wants two sandwiches (they are small) he starts to cry. I ask him what is wrong and go over to hug him. He yells "don't touch me" and I pick him up to hold him and he lets out a big wail I mean a loud wail that wakes up his brother. He puts his head on my shoulder and starts to really cry.
He then wants to stay home with me and not go to school etc.. after a bit of coaxing I get him to tell me the reall problem. He is being bullied on the school bus. The kids he has to sit next to are mean to him they take his hat and call him short and other things that kids do. So I ask if he tells the bus driver and he said no, but he has hit him back "not real hard" but I tell him that is not good.
After we discuss the situation and what he can do instead on the bus to help him he feels a bit better. Then I offer to take him to school today. THis makes him happier, he might need a little help from Mom today and feel special with his brother staying home.. Besides we are running out of time and his brother is awake now anyway.
So on the drive to school, Josh tells me how last year he got moved on the bus. Why were you moved Josh, I got into a fight. WHAT? So who is the bully here?
I am sure he does not help the situation, but I don't think he is starting it. I had to explain it is tough for me to argue that you are being bullied when you are being moved for hitting. So he is not alowed to hit, but to say to the other kid "please stop" and then tell the bus driver. I think I have to be a bit more attentive to what is going on on the bus. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to find out what is going on. I will let you know.
After asking him twice if he wants two sandwiches (they are small) he starts to cry. I ask him what is wrong and go over to hug him. He yells "don't touch me" and I pick him up to hold him and he lets out a big wail I mean a loud wail that wakes up his brother. He puts his head on my shoulder and starts to really cry.
He then wants to stay home with me and not go to school etc.. after a bit of coaxing I get him to tell me the reall problem. He is being bullied on the school bus. The kids he has to sit next to are mean to him they take his hat and call him short and other things that kids do. So I ask if he tells the bus driver and he said no, but he has hit him back "not real hard" but I tell him that is not good.
After we discuss the situation and what he can do instead on the bus to help him he feels a bit better. Then I offer to take him to school today. THis makes him happier, he might need a little help from Mom today and feel special with his brother staying home.. Besides we are running out of time and his brother is awake now anyway.
So on the drive to school, Josh tells me how last year he got moved on the bus. Why were you moved Josh, I got into a fight. WHAT? So who is the bully here?
I am sure he does not help the situation, but I don't think he is starting it. I had to explain it is tough for me to argue that you are being bullied when you are being moved for hitting. So he is not alowed to hit, but to say to the other kid "please stop" and then tell the bus driver. I think I have to be a bit more attentive to what is going on on the bus. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to find out what is going on. I will let you know.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Typical Morning?
OK so as usually Brandon is very distracted and cannot seem to get ready for school. I am getting frustrated but staying calm. He had to take a quick bath this morning and well an added step in a routine is not good for an ADHD child.
Anyway while I keep following up on him, Josh is running around the house with a new backpack which really isn't a new backpack but one he used to use and decided that he should start using it again. As I am being disstracted by Brandon I am not really paying attention to Josh as he mumbles something and goes downstairs with his backpack.
So when I get downstairs a bit frustrated at Brandon because now I really have to keep him focus which can be exausting because you have to stay calm and focus for him...
Then I go downstairs to find Josh has been cutting his backpack. Why is he cutting his backpack??? Josh wants only one shoulder strap that he can place over his body cross ways, like over one shoulder and then across his front with one strap not two. So in his mind he should just cut off the other strap. He was like Mom can you cut this off? I just started to laugh and told him that it isn't necessary to cut off the strap but to keep it "in case" someday he might want to use it as a backpack.
All you can do is laugh. One is keeping you on your toes and the other child you let wander about because he can make some smart decisions but sometimes you need to stop and really pay attention to the other one. Luckily he wasn't in the mood to cut his bangs.
Anyway while I keep following up on him, Josh is running around the house with a new backpack which really isn't a new backpack but one he used to use and decided that he should start using it again. As I am being disstracted by Brandon I am not really paying attention to Josh as he mumbles something and goes downstairs with his backpack.
So when I get downstairs a bit frustrated at Brandon because now I really have to keep him focus which can be exausting because you have to stay calm and focus for him...
Then I go downstairs to find Josh has been cutting his backpack. Why is he cutting his backpack??? Josh wants only one shoulder strap that he can place over his body cross ways, like over one shoulder and then across his front with one strap not two. So in his mind he should just cut off the other strap. He was like Mom can you cut this off? I just started to laugh and told him that it isn't necessary to cut off the strap but to keep it "in case" someday he might want to use it as a backpack.
All you can do is laugh. One is keeping you on your toes and the other child you let wander about because he can make some smart decisions but sometimes you need to stop and really pay attention to the other one. Luckily he wasn't in the mood to cut his bangs.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Meds, Birthday, Wii
OK, so for the last few weeks Brandon has been extremely restless. I mean not falling asleep until 10-10:30 at night. We still do the bedtime routine at 8:00 and hope and prayer he will sleep. We gave up trying to force it on him. We just told him that if he could not sleep instead of running around the house and being disruptive that he could stay in his room and do something quiet. He could read a book, play with his toys anything as long as it was in his room and would not be loud to keep his brother awake. That seem to work a few nights he would be up late and then he learn to put him self to sleep by 9:00 to 9:30. Improvement but not long lasting.
So then I got to thinking maybe it is the Wii, it seems everytime he plays extended time on the Wii he was not going to sleep. Or so the corrolation seems to be. Then we notice he was yelling and screaming more when he talks to us or rude and very mean to his brother. Talking with another mother with a child that has similar issues we realized playing video games brought out the ugly side of our children. Which is sad, becasue with a child with ADHD, video games are one thing they do focus on. However, that also can stimulate some part of the brain so it won't shut off and then the child becomes very disresptful... so you have to limit the game playing. Being that Brandon has other issues it might be too much for him.
I also wonder if the meds are too much for him. So last night as he is restless again and he can't sleep I try talking to him. What is going on Brandon, why can't you sleep? And Brandon tells me that he is so excited for his birthday party. He can't sleep. So simple.
A few years ago, Brandon would be so excited for Santa that he would not be able to sleep in the month of December, he would be this restless. We learn to help him by giving him some help with a tsp of Benadryl. Many people do this, I don't recommend this but it has helped us have a better holiday season when he could sleep.
Unfortunately, children with ADHD, attachment and issues have a very hard time with time concepts. So for them to wait, they really cannot. It can be very draining. Plus with little sleep it makes it worse. I am sure it is also a combo of the Wii and meds but you need to focus on one thing at a time. I will see how things go and the little bottle of Benadryl might have to be used.
As for school, things are going better. I am meeting with his teacher once a week and I am feeling better about him moving up a grade. I used to worry so much about it and now I am feeling better about it. He is a very smart child.
Speaking of smart, guess how smart Josh is... OK so he has a substitute teacher last week. So for the first night he is suppose to do his math facts. But he forgot his math flashcards at school so he can't do it. If his teacher was there and he had forgotten, he would have to have flipped his card for forgetting his work. However, he had a sub and she won't check if they brought them home or not and he knows he won't have to flip his card. So why bring it home? He knew what he had to do and what he could get away with. I call him my little stinker with a smile.
So then I got to thinking maybe it is the Wii, it seems everytime he plays extended time on the Wii he was not going to sleep. Or so the corrolation seems to be. Then we notice he was yelling and screaming more when he talks to us or rude and very mean to his brother. Talking with another mother with a child that has similar issues we realized playing video games brought out the ugly side of our children. Which is sad, becasue with a child with ADHD, video games are one thing they do focus on. However, that also can stimulate some part of the brain so it won't shut off and then the child becomes very disresptful... so you have to limit the game playing. Being that Brandon has other issues it might be too much for him.
I also wonder if the meds are too much for him. So last night as he is restless again and he can't sleep I try talking to him. What is going on Brandon, why can't you sleep? And Brandon tells me that he is so excited for his birthday party. He can't sleep. So simple.
A few years ago, Brandon would be so excited for Santa that he would not be able to sleep in the month of December, he would be this restless. We learn to help him by giving him some help with a tsp of Benadryl. Many people do this, I don't recommend this but it has helped us have a better holiday season when he could sleep.
Unfortunately, children with ADHD, attachment and issues have a very hard time with time concepts. So for them to wait, they really cannot. It can be very draining. Plus with little sleep it makes it worse. I am sure it is also a combo of the Wii and meds but you need to focus on one thing at a time. I will see how things go and the little bottle of Benadryl might have to be used.
As for school, things are going better. I am meeting with his teacher once a week and I am feeling better about him moving up a grade. I used to worry so much about it and now I am feeling better about it. He is a very smart child.
Speaking of smart, guess how smart Josh is... OK so he has a substitute teacher last week. So for the first night he is suppose to do his math facts. But he forgot his math flashcards at school so he can't do it. If his teacher was there and he had forgotten, he would have to have flipped his card for forgetting his work. However, he had a sub and she won't check if they brought them home or not and he knows he won't have to flip his card. So why bring it home? He knew what he had to do and what he could get away with. I call him my little stinker with a smile.
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