People are idiots

Bad name for the title of a post, I know.  However, I get very frustrated when I have to explain to my kids why somethings are the way they are but it really has nothing to do with them (although it does in a round about way) but it is the ADULTS reaction and dealing with things that well let's just say stink or is stupid.

We had a situation awhile ago.  Instead of the person talking to us and really learning the "whole situation" and how things could of happen decided that after making one comment, that was that.  Well for a kid with brain damage, that is that is not it.

What has happen?  Don't really know but ask a kid with a brain damage brain you get answers that you want to hear and not what happened.  If it is good or bad, well you deal with it and move on because things are not intentional they are just having fun or going with the flow.  This is why you watch a child with FASD and who they are playing with.   If the other child is aggressive, your child will be, if the child is gentle, your child will be gentle, if the child is stupid,,, hey your child becomes more stupid.

Brain damage kids don't think, they follow along with what is going on.  They enjoy the moment.  They can't take anything from the before and apply it, it is ALWAYS in the moment.

They live in the black and white world.  So when things don't add up because of some fuzzy grey issue, it doesn't matter to an FASD peron.  They won't understand, and they can't comprehend it and then it becomes "an issue" because they can't take the fuzzy grey and learn to deal with it.

They get frustrated.  What upsets me the most is when the "adult" won't take the time to look at a situation from all angles.  It is just "my child bad" and her child "does no evil."  Even though I have seen said child outside screaming and yelling and banging things around. 

I am one to "not" assume my child is innocent and the other kid is bad.  I want to know to help corret.  However, there are many parents out there that are quick to point a finger without any detail or information to back it up and be done.  It doesn't matter what their child did, your child is at fault because they can't believe their child did or Lied about something to make their life easier.

So the brain damage child is lost and confused.  Why can't he play and why does everyone hate him because he has done nothing wrong in his mind.   How do you tell him to deal with it or to ignore it and that is the adult in another situation that can't handle it.

If the adult is not the adult, how can the kids be raised to be responsible and respectful.  I see more and more adult parents, quick to blame the system or other kids and NOT or NEVER see what their own child is bringing to the table.  I get tired and frustrated with this and want ot go around andjust slap people and ask them why they think they are so special.... because they are not.  They live in their own world and quite frankly I am glad I am not in thie misguided world.






 

Am I expecting too much or what?

As time goes on and you are repeating yourself over and over again you have to go stop.. is it me?

Then I realize yes it is but I am at a loss for change or trying for a change.  I  am like so many other players of children with FASD, you think they are going to get it and they don't.  It is so hard to explain to people unless they see and hang with my child and really have to experience it. 

In the AM he is coming down and bouncing off the ways and wanting so much approval and you are trying to look at your mail, or pay bills or just have a quick cup of coffee.  He doesn't see what he is doing as he invades your space and how much he needs.  So you try to stop doing what you are doing but you can't because you would be doing all day long at 5 minutes intervals.... so then you try to redirect.

It works, he says yes I understand and yes I will get it done.  He leaves the room, and then calls your name and wants some help and then he can't find the one thing he need or he has re entered the room and has never done what he was suppose to do.  OR the best thing is that you go upstairs after the child has brushed his teeth only to discover...

1.  his bed is still not made after telling him 4 or 5 times and he going back upstairs to do it
2.  his bedroom light is on after going upstairs to brush his teeth in the bathroom
3.  the bathroom light is on and the toilet needs to be flushed.
4.  somehow at some point he has possessed a candy bar and there a bits of wrapper on the floor
5.  he did decide the one thing he wanted to wear (sweatshirt and sweatpants) might be dirty :)
     beause he has worn them for 3 days and slept in them for two... but I won't point out it is 80      degrees today and has been for the last 3.  He has to be told, it is warm out wear T-shirt and shorts. 


I think I have stressed my point, the reality is I do this everyday over the same situation over the same stuff... and they say routin is great.  I don't think they are refering to this routine.