Do you know what FASD is? No body really does and neither do we. there are times we have a normal 14 yr old boy and things and life are just that. Then there is another child a very child child... who doesn't have a clue. It is frustrating because this child shows up unexpectedly. I am learning to know and guide him when I think the FASD child will appear but when he appear and I don't have a clue. I GET VERY FRUSTRATED.
He can't help it. He doesn't understand it and he really doesn't care if you do. He is lost. He is confused. He has no concept. Yet, he can still do amazing things and he can figure things out and he can charm the pants off of anyone. But who is he? he is a child that thinks he is 7 years old and wants to have fun and not to think or the age is not really there he wants the fun to continue or whatever he remembers and it isn't the time.
We listen to a skit on the radio, it is funny and you laugh. you mention it again some time later and you might laugh. With an FASD child, he brings it up constantly and at the wrong times and thinks you should laugh and he keeps laughing... but it not that funny anymore. He thinks he is continuing the fun but it is over and he doesn't get it.
We were in the dells at a water park. He lost his googles. HE had a fit and he made sure we (traveling companions) knew that he was upset over the loss of his googles. He could not find them. He could not remember where he had them last or when. He is frustrated. We are all frustrated because he is throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old over this. You can't do anything, you can't leave the room and you can't stop him and try to get him to get a grip and make some sense out of this. he is angry.
So what happens 3 hours later when he is going through you bag again and OOPS he finds his googles. Isn't it funny? Yes it can be but you had to spend over 30 minutes in a hotel room while he acted like a two year old. The really sad and hard part is that he won't remember the humor or frustration. We will continue to go through this pattern over and over and maybe after 2-3 years of this he might get it.
In the meantime it is frustrating and exhausting for all around him. However I did have a day when I watched a young man with FAE and he charm my socks off. He was so much like my son but because I am not vested in his future like I am with my son this child was adorable. He was sweet and exhausting but at a different level that I got to see how my "well behave" child looks to others. Why can't I get that child?
He can't help it. He doesn't understand it and he really doesn't care if you do. He is lost. He is confused. He has no concept. Yet, he can still do amazing things and he can figure things out and he can charm the pants off of anyone. But who is he? he is a child that thinks he is 7 years old and wants to have fun and not to think or the age is not really there he wants the fun to continue or whatever he remembers and it isn't the time.
We listen to a skit on the radio, it is funny and you laugh. you mention it again some time later and you might laugh. With an FASD child, he brings it up constantly and at the wrong times and thinks you should laugh and he keeps laughing... but it not that funny anymore. He thinks he is continuing the fun but it is over and he doesn't get it.
We were in the dells at a water park. He lost his googles. HE had a fit and he made sure we (traveling companions) knew that he was upset over the loss of his googles. He could not find them. He could not remember where he had them last or when. He is frustrated. We are all frustrated because he is throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old over this. You can't do anything, you can't leave the room and you can't stop him and try to get him to get a grip and make some sense out of this. he is angry.
So what happens 3 hours later when he is going through you bag again and OOPS he finds his googles. Isn't it funny? Yes it can be but you had to spend over 30 minutes in a hotel room while he acted like a two year old. The really sad and hard part is that he won't remember the humor or frustration. We will continue to go through this pattern over and over and maybe after 2-3 years of this he might get it.
In the meantime it is frustrating and exhausting for all around him. However I did have a day when I watched a young man with FAE and he charm my socks off. He was so much like my son but because I am not vested in his future like I am with my son this child was adorable. He was sweet and exhausting but at a different level that I got to see how my "well behave" child looks to others. Why can't I get that child?
