new school new year

Tried to upload a photo or two and it won't work right now.   Anyway we started school with the boys are in two different school and both have New schools to attend.  Last year they both were at a STEM academy that went to 8th grade.  Brandon moved on to High School and Josh wanted to go to 8th grade at the middle school that is his home school and not STEM.  He wanted some change.

So how did the first day go?  My 9th graded who gets very frustrated was a bit on the edge the night before.  However, he had cross country practice and he had gymnastics so I hope he would be so tired he would fall asleep.  Well, he was tired but angry and worried.  The last time he had rode a bus some kids would pick on him.  How do you tell a kid that was back in 4th grade and not 9th?  There is no concept for him.  So he ASK ME to drive him on his first day.  I was impressed he figured out a frustration and he had asked me to drive.  So I said I would.  Bedtime was better but still we have our struggles. 

So the next AM I told him the girl down the street (a 10th grader) mention she would make sure Brandon got on the bus ok.  He then decided that he wanted to take the bus and that it would be ok.  So we met her on the bus stop and she helped keep him calm.  She said only 9th and 10th graders ride the bus and that it isn't crowded and it would be ok.  He felt better and YES here is where the tears come flying in...... he didn't want me to hug or kiss him good bye OR ACKNOWLEDGE him as a Mom.  But I am ok with that.  He is 14.

The other child, well he didn't want to go.  He panicked and he was scared.  He worries way to much and he really does over think things so it is hard to help him.  Needless to say I took a screaming crying child to 8th grade via car and had the principle come out and help me.  Luckily the principle was outside greeting and she coaxed him inside and he had an AWESOME day.  OK not really awesome but it went a lot better than he had thought it would.  Again the ugly monster of thoughts of the worst were in his head and not the reality.  The second day got better.  I really hope that it is and he is not saying things to make us not worry.  I do worry about him.  He takes things in so hard and has a very hard time to process them to what they are.  But he feels better about things and he does seem to enjoy it.  I hope this continues throughout the school year. 

Also I hope he does not alienate kids that have been nice to him in the past, now and he keeps a happy disposition with everything.  Not get coax into thinking he has to be a cool kid.  A nice kid with lots of friends is what I hope for.  Trying to get him to be that so he doesn't lose friends he has.  He over thinks things way to much that he can get bitter over simple things.  He is learning not to do that but it might happen. 

Next week shall be interesting to see where we are at. 

struggling

It is so hard to watch your child struggle.  They have their own things that make them tick or upset and sometimes what really surprises me is that I don't have a clue.  I think I do but I don't and that is fine.

OK dealing with a child with FASD.  |This is a post I didn't want to post but one I feel I need to post to move on and to forgive and not forget but to remember that "hey things happen"  Yet at the same time I am saying things that are not true but make me think that really our society has become one where it doesn't matter if you do the right things or try to do the right things.... things can be determine on what others perceive and HEY your world can fall apart.

My biggest regret is not dealing with this sooner.  I worry about my son ALL THE TIME.  He is a sweet innocent boy who loves to play laugh and enjoy things.  he is also a boy who is heading into high school and is maturing physically and yet mentally still in a struggle but wants to be older but then he comes a 7 year old.  That is fine until you meet a person who says "no he is this age"

This is the dangerous type person to be around my son because you want to believe an adult until the adult must have some issues that are not resolved in their world that they throw at you.  Case I am making, I have my FASD child and he plays with younger children.... no big deal.  He plays with a child that is a lot younger and has a ball and the kid enjoys him.  Their energy is high and they can have fun.  Talk to the parents and remind them SEVERAL times that my child has no filters and you need to help.

so when my child is swearing and acting like a jerk send him home.  Don't ignore it.   Well this family did not listen because it is easier to let the kids play and eventually their child gets in trouble.  So their child comes up with things he hears and so he blames my child.  Guess what?  it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong.  As a parent of a FASD child I believe what a parent is telling me and I get concern.   Turns out the parent is full of shit and really thinks these horrible things and lets her child believe them.   Not like an adult and talk to us but as we question the concern become bigger and then affects where I work and creates an awful environment..... what is their or her issues?

My child suffers.  He doesn't understand and the sad thing is I don't either.  I find out too late that there are things that must have happen with the OTHER family that has NOTHING to do with my child but they have FILTER it through mine.  THEN get the a neighbor involved that is the police and then it becomes a police matter.  Well at first I thought trusting the adult and something was up with mine child but then come to realize the Parent of this child must have SO MANY
 ISSUES that she put on her kid that he has to blame mine.  Why do kids lie?  Not to get into trouble and yet that lie gets police involved that should not be and then because I feel my child has the FASD and that the Adult in the relationship would be clear .... my child is ACCUSED of things that never happen and that guess what become a negative thing within the people we deal with. 

I AM UPSET with myself for thinking Adults in this world are being responsible adults and realizing they need to point a finger and walk away because of their own stupidity or whatever is happening in their lives to make sure other people suffer...... sad but my child is the one that suffers along with his brother.

The worst part is I thought Adults should know but I have learn Adults are idiots and have no maturity to understand.  But a lesson learn too late and I can only build my child up over what I know.  He is a great kid and he needs constand guidance and if you don't want to be on board with it than you have NO place in his life.