I haven't written in awhile because nothing too eventful. Just the usual stuff, Brandon crashes from his medicine and has a fit and throws a tantrum. We are getting better at handling them and trying to work him through it.
However, on some levels, Brandon is using appropriate words to things. He is stating things like I hate when you do that or this because it makes me feel sad, bad, mad, or uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? Yes, he is saying uncomfortable and miserable or feeling hurt inside. This is amazing since his vocabulary is huge but he never could really communicate what he is truly feeling inside. Now he is. So now to help him grow more in this Don and I have to acknowledge this and not say anything more.
It makes him uncomfortable when we have to remind him, so we have to say we are sorry you were uncomfortable or sad, and nothing more. You really want to say "well if you would focus and stay on task or do it when you are told or whatever" it is a mute point. He can't understand more than that we acknowledge his feelings. So to strenghten our relationship with him.. the only thing we can do is to acknowlege and empathize. He won't understand why we say things to him or what he could do not to get to that place of uncomfortablenesss, he is not ready. He just needs to know we understand him and his feelings. How long do we need to do this? I would say awhile before we can help him or offer him some more advice on how to handle things. It is like teaching a two year old, lots of baby steps. It is just remembering not to say too much.
It is true less is more. This is really true with a child with ADHD and other issues. What exactly is Brandon's other issues? We are not really sure. We are letting things run their course and see how he develops.
Joshua is so typical. Right now he wants to play with the older kids and when I talked to him about this he said he is tired of being the little guy. Playing with the older , bigger guys makes him feel older and taller. I guess he is the shortest kid in his class (I don't think so) and everyone is calling him little man. He is so darn cute though I don't notice how little he is. But he does and I am sure this brings us lots of mixed emotions for him as to wondering about his birth family. Why is he so short? He is not tiny he is short and I am wondering about hormone shots but that would be painful from what I understand. He was so malnorished when he came home that it does effect him through life. He has grown a lot this year so far but still not quit on the height scale. It makes him angry sometimes. Again understanding this and big hugs help him through it.
1 comment:
If you are concerned about Josh's height, you should see an endocrinologist just to put your mind at rest. Ben was just not growing at all, he was always off the bottom of the growth chart, but was falling further and further behind. He is still the smallest in the class, but he's catching up with some of them (did you see my latest picture of the baseball game? He's in line with some of his class & he's still a head height shorter than some). He's grown almost 4 inches in the past year and he only grew 1/2 inch the year before. The shots aren't even bothering him any more, even though we had to switch to a formula that's supposed to burn when injected. It's expensive though-our co-pay is $150 a month and the insurnce is paying over $20,000 a year!!! If Josh is GH deficient, then not only do the shots help his height, but he will put on muscle and his lipid profile will be better. My biggest reason for doing it for Ben is because GH deficiency can lead to accelerated cardiovascular disease and early death. If you get him tested, you'll know if he's deficient or just small.....
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