BBQ

Ok so Josh comes home yesterday and says Mom do we have plans for Friday? He runs to the calandar and sees if there is anything written on the square for friday. He says good and then grabs a pen and says we are having a BBQ. Excuse me, what?

I told all my friends that we would have a BBQ on Friday and he proceeds to write on the calandar, BBQ 630 830.. Why so late? Because my friend Brandon cannot make it until after 5, his mother works and he can't come earlier. Don't worry I invited the parents so you can have a play date too. Uhmm Josh, you need to ask persmission for this before you invite all these people.

But Mom they all mark yes on the invites!! I have to get a copy of the invitation he wrote to all his friends...and post it. It was really cute. I guess what scared me the most was that I did get a phone call from anther parent asking me if I was having a BBQ!!

calming now

So far it has been a bit calmer around here. Testing for the state is over and we are closer to Brandon's birthday. I can't believe it. Last week Brandon' asked me how many more days and I said go count. He walked over to the calandar and knew what day it was and then counted until his birthday. I was amazed last year he would not know what day it was or how many days in a week, and now he does... little progress which is Huge.

Josh is going out for tackle football. I hope he does play and not chicken out. Last fall that is all he talked about. He wanted to watch all the games and he would give us the play by plays and practically wear you out. It was nice to see him get so involved, even though it wasn't our team. So to play he has to sell butter braids... he gets into it and has a great sales pitch. Then his attitude is is like no I not selling anymore, it is dumb. Then he will ask again and sell and then he treatens to throw it all away..... I just wish I knew which child would he be when I start the day versus guessing.

Confusion

I realize I have not posted in a very long time... don't really know why outside of laziness. I have a hard time posting the good things but quick to post the negative things. Why? I dont't know except I might have some unresolved issues I need to figure out. This morning I sat and cried my eyes out because I have a child that when he is so stressed at the age of 8 he acts like a 2 year old. All communication stops and there is no reasoning or consoling that will help. I am really talking to a lost child. It is really quite sad and frustrating. I think I am mostly upset is because I can't reach him at these times and he has to react to his frustrations but they are so sad and upsetting to watch. when this child is not getting what he feels is for himself he will bang his head. I know some of this is his way of regulating himself but it hurts to see him have to do it and if I rush in to hold or say honey you don't need to do that he will become more violent. Today I was to a point all I could tell him was.. I can't talk or help you right now without saying something mean, so I need to walk away and not talk to you. I am afraid of what I might say. He got upset but slowly after another 5 minutes of this he came downstairs and was calmer but still blamed his brother for everything. This makes my heart ache for the other child and I want to protect him and yet this other child is hurting so bad. It becomes a very difficult place for me to balance myself and I begin to lose sight of the the disregulated child needs.

Just putting into words have helped. Now when we come home from school I hope things go a bit better.