Confusion

I realize I have not posted in a very long time... don't really know why outside of laziness. I have a hard time posting the good things but quick to post the negative things. Why? I dont't know except I might have some unresolved issues I need to figure out. This morning I sat and cried my eyes out because I have a child that when he is so stressed at the age of 8 he acts like a 2 year old. All communication stops and there is no reasoning or consoling that will help. I am really talking to a lost child. It is really quite sad and frustrating. I think I am mostly upset is because I can't reach him at these times and he has to react to his frustrations but they are so sad and upsetting to watch. when this child is not getting what he feels is for himself he will bang his head. I know some of this is his way of regulating himself but it hurts to see him have to do it and if I rush in to hold or say honey you don't need to do that he will become more violent. Today I was to a point all I could tell him was.. I can't talk or help you right now without saying something mean, so I need to walk away and not talk to you. I am afraid of what I might say. He got upset but slowly after another 5 minutes of this he came downstairs and was calmer but still blamed his brother for everything. This makes my heart ache for the other child and I want to protect him and yet this other child is hurting so bad. It becomes a very difficult place for me to balance myself and I begin to lose sight of the the disregulated child needs.

Just putting into words have helped. Now when we come home from school I hope things go a bit better.