Testing the limits

One thing I have learned about a child with FAS is practice practice practice and patience.  My lovely son needs to be in the moment to learn something or routinely go over many times so he understands.  He is quite smart but very forgetful and impulsive.

We are learning one of the best tools to help him learn is sitting.  It sounds so good and terrible.  Yet, going to bed is very difficult for him.  He is off his meds so he can't think and he gets very impulsive.  So we are now making him sit before bed.  Basically to clear his mind.  He just sits for 1/2 hour.  He is in the kitchen (center of the house) and either Don or I are there cleaning or making lunches for the am.  He is free to talk to us and engage in proper conversation but he can't hold a toy or read just sit and talk.  And if he can't talk respectfully we do not engage in conversation. 

So why do we do this?  It makes him work his mind, what is on his mind and how to communicate what is on his mind.  Everyone needs sleep but he is afraid of sleep... but not afraid of sleep he is afraid of the new day of going to school, what the next day will bring, how bad was his current day and am I a good boy or bad since I get redirected???  So many thoughts going in so many different directions and how do you deal with them when you can't put them into a category for your brain to digest into proper categories due to a disability that you didn't cause can be very frustrating.  Just sitting and thinking about it helps, it helps Brandon learn where to put his frustrations and what is really big and what are things he does not need to worry about. 

These are things that don't come out of his mouth or thoughts until he sits.  At night time they creep in and it is the best time to talk.  Or not to talk.  We have been doing this for a week and I notice two very important things.... One he complains about sitting yet every night he quickly and respectfully goes to his chair to sit, there is no arguing no fighting, he is a peace doing this.  The second thing is during the day... he makes comments about things we have taught him.  One example that comes to mind is Brandon used to come home and swear a lot... very disresptful and the other day I had a moment and said a bad word (twice in a day it slipped) and my son very calmly and patiencely said Mom we do not say those words.  Which I had agreeed and corrected myself with the help from my son.   He is calmer during the day.

Our morning rituals of getting ready are getting better.  He is learning he can make good choices with out meds.... it just takes practice practice practice..