Daddy is getting it

The other day, Josh had mowed the lawn and had bumped into the house with the tractor a few times.. he ruined the siding on the house and left big black marks.  I notice this a few days after he had mowed and Don didn't notice at all.  So I had to show him... he was not happy and rather upset however, while talking to Don, I reminded him he may be angry but yelling is not going to fix this.  He knows this but frustration can get the best of you.  Anyway, he showed Josh and talked to him about it.  When it was time to mow the yard again Don went over what was expected of Josh and let him mow the yard.  Unfortunately, this time Josh mowed over a mat for the front door that was out on the cement blocks by the hose reel.  He tore up the mat, .. Josh was upset and fell apart.  He could not mow anymore and was very upset.

I pointed out to Don that explaining the expectations and knowing kids are going to screw up they will get it.  Don felt bad for Josh and try to encorage him to go on and keep mowing.  I think both Josh and Dad came to a better understanding of each other.  Don became aware that his son is capable of things but it is still a child and really doesn't know as much as he thinks... and Josh learned that his Dad doesn't always yell over things. 

Don came from a family that yelled when things didn't go right.  I lived with a family that didn't confront.  Parenting at times can be difficult when you look at things from different angles... but we are making progress as parents to do better.    One thing my husband and I disagree with is tolerance. Don grew up in a home that if you didn't get it the first few times, you were yelled at.  I didn't have any expectations.. we just did things.

So I have been always reminding Don (who really has a heart of gold) that yelling isn't the answer. Kids will get it over time with lots of reminders and chats that you have of what is expected et.c It is not an overnight of progress it is like chipping away.

I think it has been nice because lately I think Don is seeing how this works and experiencing it as well.  Plus the boys are getting older and understanding many things as well.  I just hope we keep working at helping our kids be strong adults and have a healthy character.