Brandon has been acting out lately. Enough of this acting out that it has became a very big frustration in our home. I am expecting this since we are on spring break and doing lots of traveling to visit relatives and changing of the daily life schedule.
I am not prepared for my husband to have a total breakdown over this child and HIS expatations on how this child should be. However, it got to the point where my hubby broke down and cried because he does not know what to do or how to handle this child.
I asked him how old he thought the child was acting and he replied an "infant" even though he is 12 yrs old. I said then "treat him like an infant." and he said he didn't know how. So I suggested when we got home that evening to just open the door of the van for Brandon and pick him up and carry him upstairs for bed. Very little words need to be spoken and "yes" the child needed to be held gently and talked to softly.
So hubby picked him up and carried Brandon to bed..ok the bathroom and reminded him to brush his teeth.. Brandon has a tendency to goof around and forget what he is doing and says he knows but doesn't know... proceeded to clean his teeth and go to the bathroom and got on HIS PJ's and got into bed quickly and without fuss.
The next morning I took Brandon to church for a function and then on the way home I had a small chat with him... He says he laughs when his Dad talks to him because he doesn't want to get angry. I told him that getting angry is an OK emotion as long as it is justified. (another brotherly love story for later).. Anyway as we talked and I asked him if he like that his father took him upstairs to bed.. he pause and thought about it.
He said "yes" So Brandon "why did you enjoy Dad carrying to bed last night." Brandon said "I don't know." and so I waited and asked him again.. Brandon said "I liked it." and I asked "why?" and my dear son said... "because it felt like Daddy cared about me."
So, who says "children are not aware" I beg to differ, Brandon is away of the anxiety but he is causing frustration in the house. So he just needs guidance on how to express his anxiety and how to communicate this to us. Not an easy tasks since it will change daily but I think we achieve something today.
I am not prepared for my husband to have a total breakdown over this child and HIS expatations on how this child should be. However, it got to the point where my hubby broke down and cried because he does not know what to do or how to handle this child.
I asked him how old he thought the child was acting and he replied an "infant" even though he is 12 yrs old. I said then "treat him like an infant." and he said he didn't know how. So I suggested when we got home that evening to just open the door of the van for Brandon and pick him up and carry him upstairs for bed. Very little words need to be spoken and "yes" the child needed to be held gently and talked to softly.
So hubby picked him up and carried Brandon to bed..ok the bathroom and reminded him to brush his teeth.. Brandon has a tendency to goof around and forget what he is doing and says he knows but doesn't know... proceeded to clean his teeth and go to the bathroom and got on HIS PJ's and got into bed quickly and without fuss.
The next morning I took Brandon to church for a function and then on the way home I had a small chat with him... He says he laughs when his Dad talks to him because he doesn't want to get angry. I told him that getting angry is an OK emotion as long as it is justified. (another brotherly love story for later).. Anyway as we talked and I asked him if he like that his father took him upstairs to bed.. he pause and thought about it.
He said "yes" So Brandon "why did you enjoy Dad carrying to bed last night." Brandon said "I don't know." and so I waited and asked him again.. Brandon said "I liked it." and I asked "why?" and my dear son said... "because it felt like Daddy cared about me."
So, who says "children are not aware" I beg to differ, Brandon is away of the anxiety but he is causing frustration in the house. So he just needs guidance on how to express his anxiety and how to communicate this to us. Not an easy tasks since it will change daily but I think we achieve something today.
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