Respect respect respect

I don't know what happens in the 5th grade... but something does.  My son, Brandon has been coming home being very disrespectful.... very disrespectful.  I didn't know what to do.  Now I know going to a new school is tough and it gets hard... but coming home and yelling and swearing at me did not seem to be the answer.

How do you cope?  It got so bad that the week before labor day we had a family meeting.  It became aparent the only way to get the kids to understand was to be with us.  AT ALL TIMES/  If they could not show us respect they had lost their freedom elsewhere.  Josh got it immediately.  He stop some of his yelling and tried to do the right thing most of the time.  Brandon decided it was time to make it worse.  Were we really serious with this.  He is learning the hard way or is a good way.

I mean this is a good way to learn for him.  He does not grasp some consequences, it is difficult.  But basically the last few weeks have been having him sit by us when he is not at school, doing homework, or sleeping.  Ok he does get to go to cross country too.  He day is getting up and going to school and coming home and doing homework..  then he follows me around until Dad gets home and then he follows his dad.  Three nights a week he has cross country so he is out running around and getting good exercise.  He does minimal complaining about being by us... a few whines here and there during the weekend so he has been ok to be by us.  However, he is still sitting.  He has his outbursts everyday after school over something...on a daily basis.. a few times a day.  He isn't getting this but I think he is testing how serious we are... to keep him close. 

So we have come to realize he does not want out... he wants us near but he does not know how to communicate this.  Brandon needs us now more than ever so he is acting out to get unwanted attention so he has to stay near.  This is okay too.  We can deal with this.  he either is not getting it or he is and he is very afraid.  So we keep him near.  Now we are working on the swearing and finger gestures to keep them minimal.  He is getting better.  We had a good morning.. last night was good as well. 

I see improvement but I don't see enough to set him free.  I think when we talked about it being ok to  stay with us all the time and learn how to be a family person, how to treat each other etc... he wants it but is still testing.  The other night I had him write a sentence that I get a hug instead of anger... he took three tries to get it right.. not the best but I made him write the sentences nicely.  The next day he wanted 20 or so hugs and kisses in the morning.  So he got them.  I am getting exhausted standing over him and trying to get him to see what he is doing but after a few good outcomes and nice moments I will have to press on.  He asks now and again for the Wii and when we tell him he is not ready he is not really putting up a fight... he is accepting this. 

It is hard to believe a week and a half ago I was crying my eyes out over his disruptions and how to cope with them.  I feel more in control of the family and us.... I feel the relationship coming together in a positive way.  Yet, I have not lost my focus on him regressing and going into the frustrations.. I am hoping they are spacing out.

He is growing up

My little guy is growing up and still very much a baby.  He wanted to be a crossing guard.  In order to be one though you have to have All your homework assignments in and keep your grade average up.  He is working on doing this.  He has had detention because he forgot to turn in/or finish some assignments but I am hoping this will keep him going in the right track to getting things done for school.