Christmas is coming

OK not for anothe month but I am getting ready.  I hate last minute shopping and the crowds, yet I love going out on black friday.  Go figure.

This is also the time of year when we came home with our boys... it will be 10 years.  I am very blessed and love to share the joyous news.  However, my little boy does not, he is at the age it is no longer a big deal.  I know I know from his perspective it is just a reminder for him there is a birth mother that left him and that really bothers him.  This makes me sad.  I wish he could really see how excited it makes me and happy we have become a family.

Even with difficult times, we are a family.  My husband had to go off last saturday night with lots of his frustrations... and some were due to the fact the boys have changed from their sleeping room to their own rooms.  The struggles we go through with the changes.  But some of these difficulties are not showing because my kids have grown and changed.  There are making wonderful progress that he doesn't see but yet he does. 

Sometimes, you have to really STOP and see where you have been and where you are going.  Brandon has made some wonderful strides lately and the main one is communicating to us some of his frustrations.  We gave him some tools to use and I hope he does use them, appropriately.  Time will tell. 

I am not a push over

somehow my dear spouse thinks I am a push over with the kids.....  currently he is keeping them up to watch wrestling and let one child have a shake for dinner and the other a chocolate milk.  I would of said milk or water for dinner, and watching wild wrestling before bed??

I have to have him watch two boys after school and do the homework, clean the house and make dinner before he can really tell me HOW I need to do it.  He is a big a push over as me.  Not as much but togther I think we make some pretty good ground rules.

For now I would like the kids to go to bed so they can get some reading and get up for church and activities tomorrow.

email

OK I have sent some emails to their teachers... and hmmmm Brandon's teacher's don't seem to have the time to reply.  It is a bit frustrating since this is suppose to be my form of communication.  It is not like I email and expect a reply the same day... but a week? 

the famous line was said, my child is not the worst of their problems.... so I have to remind them, that he is my child and I have a responsibility to see that even though you don't see him acting out that he is deeply troubled and you are not helping him in thinking his focusing and dysregulation will get better without help??!?!

He is struggling internally.  He is an emotionally 5 year old doing a 10 year old work load....it has many challenges.

I can't sleep

I can't sleep these days... why?  becasue I have been working at my kids school as a Para in one of the rooms that happens to be in Brandon's hallway.  It was and is a long term assignment.  The second week I was working Brandon had a difficult night going to sleep and a LOT of stuff on his mind came pouring out.  Needless to say, I stop a teacher or two and had some small chats.  I apologized for coming in their rooms and I was told it was and it was ok, not to worry.

Well it really wasn't because I was called in by the vice principle and was told I was not to bother the teachers about my son while I was working.  I had to write a note or email like I wasn't in the building.  Could I do that or was this going to be a problem.  Yes I could do it and no it would not be a problem.  However, if you are a teacher and you have a persistant parent or one that does have concerns about their child and you don't like it set a meeting with the parent and make the guidelines.  Don't run to the office like a child and complain.  I don't know what upset me more, being called it and talked to like a child (that is the way our vp is with all) or the fact that a teacher would not say.. I would love to talk to you but lets make an appt because I have blah blah to do.  Because Brandon is in middle school he has several teachers and a resource teachers.. and the ones I spoke with for a brief moment before school said I was not bothering them and it was ok to stop and ask anytime.  Why say that when you don't mean it? 

I do understand the need not to interupt a teacher and I can respect that.  But show a parent that and not run to the office, I think if a teacher had said I will get back to you and then did that is fine, but when they don't it gets confusing.  Sorry these thoughts are in my head.

I guess it is because when Brandon's mind is in the middle of something, now is when you deal with it.  Talking about it later or bringing it back up, he might not be able too.  He can't sometimes so I have to teach in the moment.  Trying to get people to understand that can be really hard.  There I think I feel better.