School is starting

Summer is coming to an end for us.  We start school next week on Wednesday.  It is a new school for the boys.  It is called a magnet school but how correct that is will be seen.  I want my kids to go there for different reasons than the acedemics.  Granted, the extra time in math and science is great and I think will benefit my kids however that is not all.  We have to wear a uniform. 

When I first told Josh about the uniform he was excitied.  He said "great, then the kids won't make fun of my clothes."  REally?  kids have been making fun of your clothes?  I guess certain T shirts, football teams kids will make their comments known. 
Trying to explain to Josh and Brandon to ignore this gets to be difficult.  How much do kids have to ignore other kids that are disruptive and have to put other kids down to feel liked.  One of the more well liked girls in Josh's class last year would make him feel bad.  She just had to say your smile was wrong or his breathe smelled and the kids would ignore him etc.  Where as last year, before this girl came he was welled liked.  He had lots of friends in class and now not as much.  Why did this little girl who is completely adorable and nice and sweet (what I have seen) have to put down other kids?  Is she that insecure in herself... it makes you wonder if her parents either put her on a pedasil or make her feel worthless to have this girl make other kids feel bad.  She put down a lot of the kids in class than my Josh.  So I am happy with the uniform to make this a consistent with all kids... takes off the compitition.

Anyway, the new school is going to be all year school, but have as many school days as the rest of the district.  So that means we will have some time off in Oct. and more in Nov. and extra holiday time etc.  I am happy for this.  We like to travel and go places and these are good times to go cheaper.  So that was my first thought.  OK so it wasn't academic but my kids need breaks from school.  There are so many days in a row kids can go to school and deal with other kids insecurities.  My kids need the break to re group and feel special and know that these kids they deal with have the problems.  I am hoping with the uniform, a new school with "supposedly"  good teachers are hired and told to keep it exciting and the local superindentent is having his kids go there will make a difference.  They were hired and told to make the day exciting for the kids and want them to come back.  We shall see. 

Josh's Birthday

Good news... we got to celebrate Joshua birthday with minimal fuss from his brother.  Last year it was miserable... Brandon could not understand why his brother got things and he didn't, even though he did. 

So this year I had Brandon involved in everything for his brother (except presents) and he did really good, quite remarkable.  He did have a small melt down once he saw all the gifts but it was short lived.  I showed him some photos of his birthday and I showed him how many he got and what he had for his birthday and then he was able to enjoy his brother's a bit.  It was such a great moment to spend with both the boys.  Josh really loved the one gift I threw togther today because I was in a rush... wrestling cards with some money.  His big present I don't think he quite got it.  We are going to see the WWE wrestling LIVE in Rockford and he is sitting 5 rows back from the center ring... I don't think he got how good the seats were but as he tells his friends he is more excited.  The seats cost a good chunk of change but as Don said, this is a once in a lifetime deal so we thought what the heck.  This should be interesting.  Both boys will be flying after the show..

I think having Brandon makes suggestions and getting involved was the best idea yet, also I think he is maturing in some ways and the Benadryl (see below)

Benadryl?!?!

I have notice that since we have given Brandon Benadryl at night he seems to do better in the day.  Is he finally getting enough sleep?  Is it just being home for the summer?  I took him off  the Benadryl for a few nights because I didn't want him to be on it so much that when we started school he would not be able to use it but it made a difference.  When I took him off, he got more upset easier and quick to get a nasty temper over everything.  Almost aggressive but not physical but his voice and all gets loud and he wants to argue everything.  So last night I gave him the benadryl and as of the am he is still sleeping.

We started Focalin at a small dose and he is eating and it seems to work.  At least without big crashes but once school starts I think we may need more meds.  We shall see.  I don't have him study or have to concetrate much more than playing and swiming so don't really know if the meds are helping with staying focused.. I mean it is but is it enough?  I notice he is not as grabby but if it something he is interested in... well then he becomes my two year old which is something we are working on.

which way?

It has been a very busy summer and I can't tell you what we have done.  a lot but nothing specific.  The other day I quit giving Brandon's his ADHD meds.  He said they didn't work.  He was exhausted from camp and so I thought why not?

Then it happen.. he grabbed at everything and hitting things for sound and jumping all around and getting wild up over little things.  But he was calmer about it... had to be re directed a bit but calm.. not angry but mellow er if that is a word.  So then we got to the point he was so grabby and so in your way that I thought let me medicate him so we can get on without  3,000 re directs (ok a bit exacterated).  He was great with his brother but they both had 12 hours of sleep.  Then it happen... a moment that turn the whole day ugly.  Why we can't get past this... I will never know.  a small incident but enough for Brandon do think the worst in everything after that.. His focus althoug much better, was self absorb.. He was focused but ony worried about himself not the others around him and yet yesterday he was good with this.

So which do I want?  An angry person over one thing because it stays in his mind or a mellow boy who you have to stay on top of and re direct.. redirect.... redirect... redirect...

fire flys

We are starting to get into the dail grind of summer.  However I can't seem to get into a real routine.  Things just pop up and then the day is over.  What I really want to do is catch fire flys with my guys.  I see them when the sun goes down and want to run outside with the boys and catch them and release them.  However, I worry will this wild up Brandon so much he won't sleep>  Do I not worry until it is done?  Will he keep everyone else awake because he can't sleep?  Thes unknow make me stop and think about this.  I have to not worry and just have some fun.  The boys deserve it.  I deserve it.  so I will let you know.

Camp Anikijig

One is off to camp.  Brandon went to a mini camp in Wisconsin.  He should be able to ride a horse and do some archery.  If it stops raining.  It is only in the 60's up north and they have to take a swim test.  Ouch he hates the cold and it will be a big challenge for him.

Another challenge will be the shoes he wears.  He struggles with putting on his high tops most times but wanted to bring them or should I say had to bring them with all of his choices.  It can be exhausting ... I try to let him pick his pair of shoes but he struggles to get them on (wont losen them enough) and when he ties them... the laces have to match exactly- never mind that he always pulls from one side of his shoe laces to tighten, they still have to match...  Explaining this has become mute but I try too.  I don't know why so we will have to practice for school.

Josh has been home being a big video geek.  A bit too much that I have to put a lid on this today.  There is fun and then you can have fun running around outside.  So we will have to make some adjustments to this.  THis is suppose to be my time with my son... only he wants to play with his friend and have a friend over all the time.  Which is what a normal 4th grader would do I know but I feel left out and that is ok.  He will just hang with me eventually.  I hope.  We still have more time.  Brandon calls tonight to see if he wants to stay or not.  It will be interesting.  If he stays, then Josh and I have 3 more days to hang and do things together.  What we will do I don't know, we have seen a movie with his friend ...

Our Trip

It seems it was a bit overwhelming for Brandon on our trip.  I know the mornings are hard because he can't figure out what the day will be like.  It really isn't mapped in stone, however once we get going he does great.  However, his eating schedule was a bit goofed up and so when we were all starving he was not hungry.  It is so hard to get him to eat when he is like that, and snacks can only help a little bit.

So we had a few moments of discomfort.  Brandon is still trying to have his temper tantrums like a two year old even though he is 10.  He struggles with this and we struggle with this.  Huge emotions for little things become exhausting for us.  It is not ok to disrupt everyone when you are upset.  You may be upset but making everyone miserable is not good.  Disrespect has become his way of dealing and we need to teach him how to be upset but not get everyone upset.  It is ok to be angry or upset but making it a huge emotion and being disrespectful is not.  He is trying but he keeps forgetting.  I read in another blog how they have manage to get their child to start regulating herself.  Brandon does not, and some days I feel he can't and some days I feel he won't try.  But I know he is trying, he can't remember what to do so we have to practice.  We have to go through routines to help him.  Make him stop and just sit by us and breathe.  He is getting better but we have a long road to go.  The sad part is as you work on this you have in the back of your mind, what will happen later how bad is this going to get etc.... and you can't you have to stay in the moment and work through this because it is my fear of the future not his.

Last night Brandon had his first track practice, what I saw of it he did great.  However, coming into the car he was mad and upset and kicking stones and tried to kick me.  I stopped and said until he was calm we would not drive home.  I know he was upset but I was not going to get into the van until he could be calm for me and his brother.  He got in the van after settling down and proceeded to tell me how awful everything was.  Now I think he enjoyed parts of it HOWEVER, there was a boy there that was very disrespectful to Brandon.  Apparently he spit on him and hit him with a baton.  Now I don't doubt these things happen, but I know from watching Brandon he was laughing and joking with this boy along with running by him at one time and going hahahaha to his face.  So Brandon was not respectful to this boy.  So now Brandon does not want to go.  But this is a good learning tool for him.  If he can remember, he needs to stay away from this boy and tell the coaches not to put them side by side on the track.  I will also talked to the coaches and let them know all that happen yesterday to make them aware of this child.   Let them know Brandon is learning the proper social things to do with kids that upset him, right now he looks like he is having fun with them when he is not. 

I feel this is a good practice for him to work on learning to deal with these types of kids... there are 40 other kids and they are fine so Brandon found the one.  Or did this child find Brandon.  I don't know.  He is starting school in the fall and he is worried about this happening, so while I can be there and the only thing they need to teach is running (not school) we can work on the social part.    Or so I hope!!