Respect respect respect

I don't know what happens in the 5th grade... but something does.  My son, Brandon has been coming home being very disrespectful.... very disrespectful.  I didn't know what to do.  Now I know going to a new school is tough and it gets hard... but coming home and yelling and swearing at me did not seem to be the answer.

How do you cope?  It got so bad that the week before labor day we had a family meeting.  It became aparent the only way to get the kids to understand was to be with us.  AT ALL TIMES/  If they could not show us respect they had lost their freedom elsewhere.  Josh got it immediately.  He stop some of his yelling and tried to do the right thing most of the time.  Brandon decided it was time to make it worse.  Were we really serious with this.  He is learning the hard way or is a good way.

I mean this is a good way to learn for him.  He does not grasp some consequences, it is difficult.  But basically the last few weeks have been having him sit by us when he is not at school, doing homework, or sleeping.  Ok he does get to go to cross country too.  He day is getting up and going to school and coming home and doing homework..  then he follows me around until Dad gets home and then he follows his dad.  Three nights a week he has cross country so he is out running around and getting good exercise.  He does minimal complaining about being by us... a few whines here and there during the weekend so he has been ok to be by us.  However, he is still sitting.  He has his outbursts everyday after school over something...on a daily basis.. a few times a day.  He isn't getting this but I think he is testing how serious we are... to keep him close. 

So we have come to realize he does not want out... he wants us near but he does not know how to communicate this.  Brandon needs us now more than ever so he is acting out to get unwanted attention so he has to stay near.  This is okay too.  We can deal with this.  he either is not getting it or he is and he is very afraid.  So we keep him near.  Now we are working on the swearing and finger gestures to keep them minimal.  He is getting better.  We had a good morning.. last night was good as well. 

I see improvement but I don't see enough to set him free.  I think when we talked about it being ok to  stay with us all the time and learn how to be a family person, how to treat each other etc... he wants it but is still testing.  The other night I had him write a sentence that I get a hug instead of anger... he took three tries to get it right.. not the best but I made him write the sentences nicely.  The next day he wanted 20 or so hugs and kisses in the morning.  So he got them.  I am getting exhausted standing over him and trying to get him to see what he is doing but after a few good outcomes and nice moments I will have to press on.  He asks now and again for the Wii and when we tell him he is not ready he is not really putting up a fight... he is accepting this. 

It is hard to believe a week and a half ago I was crying my eyes out over his disruptions and how to cope with them.  I feel more in control of the family and us.... I feel the relationship coming together in a positive way.  Yet, I have not lost my focus on him regressing and going into the frustrations.. I am hoping they are spacing out.

He is growing up

My little guy is growing up and still very much a baby.  He wanted to be a crossing guard.  In order to be one though you have to have All your homework assignments in and keep your grade average up.  He is working on doing this.  He has had detention because he forgot to turn in/or finish some assignments but I am hoping this will keep him going in the right track to getting things done for school.

School is in

We have started school and I think it is going well.  Josh seems to like it but is having some social issues at recess.  This is a bummer since he loves to be social.  However, on the acedemics he likes it very much.  But he still wants to go back to his old school next year.  He wanted to move sooner but I told him thee was no space at his old school so he is ok with waiting until next year.  Then if he still can't go to his old elementary the following year he plans on attending the Middle School.  The Academy they are at right now will eventually go up to the 8th grade.  Josh will be going to the BIG middle school. 

Josh also received the notice for flag football so he is going to be doing this as well.  He will still continue to do cross country on his days off so they can keep him on the roster until we know for sure.  He likes to do the running and he is doing great at it.  He started with only being able to do a 1/2 mile around and now he is up to a Mile and 1/4.  which is great.  So I hate for him to give it up and yet he really likes his football.

Brandon is doing well at school.  However, there is one teacher that I am worried about.  She has a way that I just sort of clash with.  Maybe it is the way she says things or maybe I am too sensitive.   I walked in the school the other day and her words to me were "Brandon missed his detention."  What my Brandon had detention?  Turns out it was for another teacher at recess that he missed the detention.... So why was she telling me this and not the actual teacher?.  The teacher that gave him the detention showed me the sheet he needed to do and we talked to Brandon how important is was to get done and he smiled and said he would.  We got it done right away. 
This other Teacher_ Miss B (give her a name) always has assignments that look HUGE... but when you piece it out it is not that bad.  However with a child that becomes so overwhelmed quickly... this is a task.  She sent home a 12 page project and wrote Brandon needs to finish.  I looked it over and I asked him if he did this in class.  He said yes but it was too confusing for him.  I think he is afraid to ask for help or does not know how to ask for help.   It was a bunch of maps with different directions on each page.  It really wasn't anything difficult but you could barely read some of the maps... so I pulled out ours and we used ours to answer.  I have a feeling over time I will be clashing with this person.  All his other teachers are on board.  Time will tell. 

 

Meeting with Teachers

I got to meet with Brandon's teachers.  They all (but one) seem to be really considerate and trying to understand Brandon's disability.  They don't get it, because he does fine in school or as a parent calls it.. holding it together.  The meltdowns are for me!!  Only me.  I think they understood though that Brandon does seem to get a bit lost and confused and that constant consistant repitition is key.  I think they will see it more as school wears on.  They do see that he is unorganized or that he needs some prompting for task but overall not too out of place.   They have more quirky kids at the school.

We shall see over time how this goes.  I don't think I explain myself well enough.  It is hard for me to express myself with 5 eyes upon me to talk to people.  I am not explaining myself here.

I just got off the phone from the kids old elementary school  and yes I am going to noon aide over there tomorrow for the first day of school.  This should be interesting without my kids there.  We did go by the school the other day and well it made Josh cry.  He misses some of the friends he had there.  I think part of that was he had an issue or problem with one of the kids at his new school and it made things hard on him.  It all takes lots of time to figure out.  I give it another month and we shall see where we stand at the new school.

We started school!!

We have had two weeks of school.  However, only 3 days in each week.  So this week we are going all week.  Brandon is having a difficult time with it.  His emotional stge is really beginning to show.  He is struglling with the other new students but seems to be doing ok with the teachers.  This is great.  Time to adjust to everything new and see where we go.  He likes his new technology class and that is cool, one of the main reasons we are going to this school.  I have a meeting today after school with all of his teachers and I hope I feel like I accomplish something.  Will post later.

Joshua is loving his new school.  I think he really enjoys new challenges.  He likes his teacher and he is enjoying the new routine and making his mark.  I think he will like it and he even talks about next year!!  YEAH

School is starting

Summer is coming to an end for us.  We start school next week on Wednesday.  It is a new school for the boys.  It is called a magnet school but how correct that is will be seen.  I want my kids to go there for different reasons than the acedemics.  Granted, the extra time in math and science is great and I think will benefit my kids however that is not all.  We have to wear a uniform. 

When I first told Josh about the uniform he was excitied.  He said "great, then the kids won't make fun of my clothes."  REally?  kids have been making fun of your clothes?  I guess certain T shirts, football teams kids will make their comments known. 
Trying to explain to Josh and Brandon to ignore this gets to be difficult.  How much do kids have to ignore other kids that are disruptive and have to put other kids down to feel liked.  One of the more well liked girls in Josh's class last year would make him feel bad.  She just had to say your smile was wrong or his breathe smelled and the kids would ignore him etc.  Where as last year, before this girl came he was welled liked.  He had lots of friends in class and now not as much.  Why did this little girl who is completely adorable and nice and sweet (what I have seen) have to put down other kids?  Is she that insecure in herself... it makes you wonder if her parents either put her on a pedasil or make her feel worthless to have this girl make other kids feel bad.  She put down a lot of the kids in class than my Josh.  So I am happy with the uniform to make this a consistent with all kids... takes off the compitition.

Anyway, the new school is going to be all year school, but have as many school days as the rest of the district.  So that means we will have some time off in Oct. and more in Nov. and extra holiday time etc.  I am happy for this.  We like to travel and go places and these are good times to go cheaper.  So that was my first thought.  OK so it wasn't academic but my kids need breaks from school.  There are so many days in a row kids can go to school and deal with other kids insecurities.  My kids need the break to re group and feel special and know that these kids they deal with have the problems.  I am hoping with the uniform, a new school with "supposedly"  good teachers are hired and told to keep it exciting and the local superindentent is having his kids go there will make a difference.  They were hired and told to make the day exciting for the kids and want them to come back.  We shall see. 

Josh's Birthday

Good news... we got to celebrate Joshua birthday with minimal fuss from his brother.  Last year it was miserable... Brandon could not understand why his brother got things and he didn't, even though he did. 

So this year I had Brandon involved in everything for his brother (except presents) and he did really good, quite remarkable.  He did have a small melt down once he saw all the gifts but it was short lived.  I showed him some photos of his birthday and I showed him how many he got and what he had for his birthday and then he was able to enjoy his brother's a bit.  It was such a great moment to spend with both the boys.  Josh really loved the one gift I threw togther today because I was in a rush... wrestling cards with some money.  His big present I don't think he quite got it.  We are going to see the WWE wrestling LIVE in Rockford and he is sitting 5 rows back from the center ring... I don't think he got how good the seats were but as he tells his friends he is more excited.  The seats cost a good chunk of change but as Don said, this is a once in a lifetime deal so we thought what the heck.  This should be interesting.  Both boys will be flying after the show..

I think having Brandon makes suggestions and getting involved was the best idea yet, also I think he is maturing in some ways and the Benadryl (see below)