OK so the boys are playing with a balloon and tossing it back and forth... not a big deal right? One has to throw himself on the floor over and over again... why? It makes a sound like a truck is coming through the living room. So I asked them to stop. They continue to play but one is no longer throwing himself on the floor.
It gets to the point no matter what one is doing it isn't right and the yelling and demanding starts... it gets to a point one runs into the bathroom and the other bangs his fist on the door. What do you do?
I have to pack for our trip, clean up the kitchen, wash some clothess.... I don't have time!! So I did what I have been doing for a month. I picked up one child and carried him to the stool in the middle of the kitchen. and set him down nicely... and take the other child by the hand and put him on our step stool in the doorway.. close where I can see them but where they can't see each other. Set the timer for 10 minutes (they are ten). I then start to clean the kitchen and I left for a moment to run upstairs to get some laundry.... heard yelling... set the timer back 2 more minutes. I then continued to clean the kitchen, straighten and some laundry while they were near by. No words just busy myself around them.
The timer goes off..... Me "why are you sitting"
Children "we are banging on the door and getting carried away"
Me "I am sorry your brother upsets you but you have to learn how to deal with him or anyone when they act this way getting aggressive is not a good choice" (this is because this child has biten his brother and has left a huge bruise on his shoulder)
child "I am trying to control my anger but it gets hard sometimes.. (but this is why he needs to practice frustration and learn how to deal with it appropriately)
the conversation goes on on how to do things without getting carried away and why they need reeled in sometimes because their choices become distorted and they make bad or incorrect choices. Why we are learning how to control ourselves etc etc...
So I ask them, do you want to sit all day because we can't make good choices? Or would you like to make good choices and help Mom get ready for our trip to the dells..... What would you like to do?
Help mom... one goes off to clean room, one is finally eating because he is hungry although he decides he is not hungry once food is put in front of him. So I tell him he must eat if he wants to make good choices and leaving food and not eating after stating he is hungry is not a good choice. So he eats his breakfast and goes to clean his room.
Now could all of this been avoided? Yes and no... I guess if I got them up and we discussed what needed to be done we might have started working together... however, I was not ready and I want my kids to be kids so I left them to play for a bit while I got organized and then would need their help. I think at some point maybe over something different they would test the limits no matter what is happening. This is what children do.... are you really there for us. well yes I am.
I think now after a few moments of silence and re grouping we are all ready.
One just finished his room and said he was going to clean the toilets.....
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