With Christmas approaching, we get pretty busy around here, like most folks. I look at blogs and I see kids dressed up so fancy and smiling faces it is hard to believe many have lots of struggles just to take the photos. but they do and the kids look wonderful.
We are struggling this Christmas but for other reasons. My mother's health is not well. She is in chronic pain from the radiation or arthritis or chemo in her hip. They don't know what is causing it. So last Thursday they took an X-ray to see what is happening. Luckily we have not recieved a call saying the cancer is back and spreading it will be something else since they don't meet with the doctor until Wed. Meanwhile Mom is taking lots of pain meds and living in la la land. Which is hard to watch your parent be so out of it or sleeping in a bed all day with her pj's on. My dad is getting more depressed and struggling to get the strength to carry on. I live an hour and half away and I cannot see them daily. But I am making an effort to go at least once a week. A very depressing time. The sad part is not knowing what is going to happen. so I would like to have the strength of my brother and believe this is just a painful time for her and things will get better. Chemo can do this... but this is our second round. So I wait and try to look for strength... and guess where I am finding it? In my son.
Yes, my difficult son that challenges me everyday. I see a healthy little guy with so much strength that he so unaware of what he has. He can get out of bed and dress and run and play. He can sit still and complete his homework, or a task of some type. My mother cannot get out of bed. How can this make me happy? Because when he can't get dress, because he won't, I simply remind him of what he is capable of and not get angry and he gets dress. He is getting ready in the morning pretty good. We still have struggles, but I have learn to time them and move on. He can do this at school and I hope he will learn at home.
A child with FAS looks at things differently. The other moring his choice was to get his shoes and coat on for school... and then play with his Santa. He chose to play with Santa. When we left he had his shoes and coat in hand and got into the van. As we pull out, we see the Christmas lights are on the Christmas Tree. Josh jumps out of the van to go and turn them off. Since we are now in the driveway the cold air comes rushing in..... Brandon's response to all this by screaming that Josh made him cold... UHM HOW does Josh make you cold? because he is sitting without his shoes and coat. But it is all Josh's fault because he open the door. I calmly remind him that if he had taken the choice of putting on shoes and coat before playing with Santa he would not be cold. This takes awhile for him to comprehend, because in his mind it is Josh's fault. Sadly it is not, but this is a fine line because I don't want Brandon to feel bad about himself or lower his self esteem, I want him to understand that he is smart and needs to learn how to make better choices. A very fine line.
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