Is this Progress?

How do you define progress?  In my world it is weird wonderful things.  I was talking with my mother in law this morning about Brandon and how he was wigging out because it was the last day of school.  One thing he was not doing was getting his shoes on.  I asked him to get his shoes on and he didn't.  He played with the cat and I reminded him again and again.  Then I got frustrated and walked away.  Now I know he is regressing and I should just put his shoes on for him durnig this difficult time.  But I am thinking this is not new.  He had to put on his shoes all school year.  It is a daily function he needs to learn.  It is not a new thing today, it is something he needs to do everyday regardless of what is happening around him.

So I walked away and came to grips that he might not make the bus, he will be late to school and he might not wear shoes today.  Not the senerio I want but I have to let it be.  So I come out of my bathroom to go downstairs, and Brandon walks into the hallway and shows me his hands.  They are wet.  He informs me he has washed his hands.  Yes, this was something I had asked him to do when I asked him to put on his shoes... so he has one task completed.  I say thank you I really appreciate that and I apologize for getting upset that he didn't put his shoes on.  Then I walked down the stairs.  Brandon stops and puts on one shoe and follows me.  (he has one shoe on not tied but on).  He tells me as he walks down the stairs that he is going to miss his friends when school gets out.  So I tell him that that this would make me more determined to get my shoes on so I could get to the last day of school and see my friend. As I look back at him,  he has sat down at the bottom stair to put on his other shoe.   

I keep walking to talk to Josh about getting ready to go.  Brandon comes into the kitchen and his shoes are on but not tied.  I ask if he is going to tie his shoes.  He does not reply but starts struggling to put on his rain poncho.  I do not comment and continue on with my tasks.  Brandon after playing around with his poncho comes over to me and asked me quite nicely to tie his shoes.  I told him very nicely that I would love to tie them for him but I had to ask him many times to put on his shoes that I can no longer help him.  As we continue to get ready Brandon is hiding under his rain poncho and talking about things that upset/scare him.  I walk around and finish things up and support him and talked to him about the last day of school and how hard it is for everyone.  That is is sad but he will see his friends over the summer.

As I get ready to go to the van Brandon stands up and I notice his shoes are tied.  He had been tying them under his rain poncho as he talked to me.  I thank him again and I give him a big kiss and I get a great big smile from him. 

Now I had to stop when I was telling my mother in law this story because in the Fall putting on shoes for Brandon was a very difficult thing.  He would scream in frustration and anger and he would throw his shoe across the room.  He would bang his head out of frustration because they would not go on right or the tie was not straight enough.... he would get so upset he would hit his brother.  After the holidays I got him to get his shoes on but he would scream very disrespectfully to me to tie them or help him.  It took to Spring to get him to put them on and if he needed help to aske me nicely/respectfully so I would help him. 

Now we come to a place where even though it took some prompting he got his shoes on but at his pace.  It may of taken us over 20 minutes to get the shoes on but there was no fit throwing, no head banging.

To me this is progress, he got his shoes and tied.  It took 20 minutes and he did it in an order that I don't understand but one where he is in control and he can do it.  I am ok with this.  This is something I feel he has to learn how to do  no matter what is happening around him.  It is a basic skill that needs to be done daily.  I think he has learned it.  He just needs some time to complete this task and I have to learn to let it be how he can complete it.  We made some progress.