Ramblings

Every month we meet with a group of people that have or had attachment issues with their kids. It is a local chapter called Children's Home and Aid Society. We meet and discuss our woes with kids and how to help. Don and I are considered the experts, which makes us laugh. However, we are the only ones that have been their the longest and we are not afraid to share our experiences and how we deal with things and how we cope. Also, we are not afraid to share our shortcomings are mistakes and things that have added to our situation.

It is hard to admit you have issues with your kids and some of the issues are with yourself. Really what are you afraid of? This is the main question posted by Heather Forbes. The theory is your children live in a fear and flight mode all the time and you need to help calm the fear and help them. However, the fear your child has is a fear you can have or a different fear that you need face within yourself in order to help your child. I think I found mine. Fear of confortation was mine. I have a child with constant confortation which I had a hard time dealing with. It took about 6-8 months to really figure it out. Along the way I learn many things about myself. I think my husband is still working on it. He is getting better but there are times I think he still lives in the me mode. Not really the me mode but he wants to be too in control and when he cannot control he has a hard time dealing with it. Almost like it is not his fault but others, which sometimes can be true but at times he really needs to look at himself closer. But then I think most men are not as nurturing as woman and don't feel it like we do and blame others than look closer at themsleves. To me that is a me person, not my fault, but others and that is not as nurturing, but then most men are not as natural at nurturing as women.